The past two years were all about redemption for me.
After having a pretty long religious journey in 2019, I wanted to take some time to take a hard look at myself and fix a few things I cannot fix thus far.
I have been able to transform some major things along the way:
- How to reflect my inner side on my outer self
- How to reshape where I want to go next
- How to be more chill on the way of getting there
It was not an easy journey, nor that I expected it would be. I’ve gotten a lot of help along the way and I also have to cut some people off for the sake of the transformation.
And yet, there’s one more question that’s taken me so long to answer:
What’s the most difficult thing I have to let go of?
My Big Shortcomings
It used to take me 8 years to realize that there was no good that could come from remembering each one of my big failures.
I used to have this note that I would always carry around with me that had a list of everything I could’ve done better at that I didn’t since I was three years old.
I used to beat myself up for it, for not getting it right, for quitting, and for not being more resilient enough to pursue it.
I used to blame my parents also for not forcing me to do so.
But after a good 8 years, I realized that there was nothing I could do about it.
Yes, I might accomplish much more if I have gotten to do all those things, but my life wasn’t so bad without them as well.
I’d say after 8 years, there was no regret.
My Recurring Failures
What has happened in the past two years was quite different. At least, I’ve chosen to look at it from a different angle.
I have been able to let go of my 8 years of shortcomings because I felt like I’ve reached the end of that journey for those shortcomings and the end story wasn’t bad, so what the hell if I…