Happy Valentine’s Day, My Love
To my loveliest, Adam Nilsson. This is for you.
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved,
now and then joyfully,
I can live only wholly with you or not at all
Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you
until I can fly to your arms
and say that I am really at home with you
and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits
No one else can ever possess my heart
Never never oh God
Why must one be parted from one whom one so loves
Your love makes me the happiest of women
I composed this beautiful letter to you in the sleepless hours of the night.
I miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way.
You would never write so elementary a phrase as that.
And yet I believe you’ll be sensible of a little gap.
But you’d clothe it in so exquisite a phrase that it should lose a little of its reality.
Whereas with me it is quite stark:
I am reduced to a thing that wants you.
I miss you even more than I could have believed.
So this letter is really just a squeal of pain.
It is incredible how essential to me you have become.
Oh my dear, I can’t be clever and stand-offish with you.
I love you too much for that. Too truly.
My angel, I must close this letter at once.
Only by calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together.
Love me today, yesterday.
You, you, my life, my all.
Oh, continue to love me.
Never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.